How long will this ache in my heart remain? How deep is this wound? It burns on the inside just enough to remind me that it is still there. Like a burn you receive from touching the oven racks. It is not going to stop you from carrying on with your day, but you still feel it.
Betrayal- when you have trusted a friend with the deepest part of you and they have inserted the knife.
It is like slicing open your chest and exposing your heart. You were hoping for observation, but instead you received open heart surgery by unskilled hands. They have made the incision and have discussed with the assisting staff how they think ‘you have gotten yourself into this mess’. If you wouldn’t have done this or if you never would have said this, smoked that,you wouldn’t be in this predicament! The worst part of this is that all through the surgery you are well aware of their conversation!
You can hear everything that they are saying!
And when you come out of the anesthesia everything has changed…
The pain is still there
the scar is ugly
now there is ‘new pain’
Deep wounds require deep healing.
No human being on this planet can remove that kind of scar, wound, or pain.
No man or woman can erase those words you have overheard that have accused you or judged you.
There is only One.
My Father in heaven.
He won’t turn his back on me -ever!
He understands what it feels like to be betrayed by those who loved Him.
He won’t talk about me when I leave the room.
He has time for me – He listens with intent and keeps his eyes on mine.
God holds my head and shoulders above all who try to pull me down.
In desperation I throw myself at God, minute by minute, hour by hour I call out to Him. He is my warm cave to hide in, my safety, hiding me from my opposition.
“God’s eye is on those who respect Him, the ones who are looking for His love.
He’s ready to come to their rescue in bad times;
in lean times He keeps body and soul together.
We’re depending on God; He’s everything we need.
What’s more, our hearts brim with joy since we’ve taken for our own His holy name.
Love us, God, with all you’ve got-
that’s what we’re depending on.”
Psalm 3:18-22 (Message)
Now , I am in the recovery room after surgery. I refuse to allow the pain to steal my joy. I refuse to let the accusations and condemnation to sink deep to the core of who I am. God administered the drugs to help me through the pain.
His Percocet is extravagant love.
Is anyone crying for help? Does anyone else need His pain reliever?
His extravagant love is always available – no need to wait for the nurse.
“God is listening… ready to rescue you.
If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, He’ll help you catch your breath.” Psalm 34:17-18 (Message)